Saturday, June 5, 2010


So, I've had a bit of an epiphany lately.

I don't want to go into detail, but one of our children can be a bit of a problem at times. A lot of times. With a few different issues.

And when he wants attention from those around him, I don't think he knows how to get good attention. Instead he tends to seek negative attention. And I realized something this week. Something that's made me sad...

We've been focusing on the wrong things. All the wrong things. We've been focusing on the things he does wrong. That's what we talk about (or...let's be honest...that's what we shout about...) And, ya know what? When you're focusing on all the negatives of a person you're not as sweet or loving with them as you would be if you were focusing on their positives. And, don't get me wrong, there are many many positives. He is a brilliant and wonderful boy. But I think I've lost sight of that a bit.

Also, I'm a firm believer in the idea that what you focus on is what you get more of.

So, for the last couple days, I've been focusing on all the good things. I've been trying harder to give this little one the attention he needs and to reach out to him more. I have to say that I was really struggling at times. I just wasn't sure how to handle him. But I feel so much happier now.

What do you focus on? And do you want more of it?


Mills Family said...

Hi Erin my friend! I spent some time on your blog tonight just catching up! I love reading your thoughts! And, I especially love this post!! We've all been there and done that. So, you're not alone there. But, your right. It's true that our kids learn sub-conciously and consciously to get our attention in how they are use to us reacting to them. I've known that. But, I still slip often and try and correct my kids probably more than I cheer them on for their positive behavior. Thanks for the reminder!! Your family is awesome! You are an awesome mom and an awesome person! And, I miss you! Hey, tell Emett that Trey misses him too!

crystal said...

I also struggle with this in my family too. It makes me wonder if we are having issues with the same little person(same age, same gender) I often wonder what I can do to make this person feel better and to do the right things and to get the possitive attention instead of the negative. Please post on how your coming along with your new plan.

Mellissa said...

I couldn't agree more. We do the same things with our kids at times, and then we step back and realize what amazing kids we have. It's hard to do sometimes, but it definitely makes a difference. Keep up the positive attitude!